Those Dangerous, Jaded Eyes
by SparklyGlitter
Summary: Loki could dance like an angel and beat the devil in a game of words. His paintings could take your breath away and he could kill you before you noticed. Tony on the other hand could make you feel beautiful, ugly, special and worthless in one sentence just for fun, then he would help save the world. all avengers are avengers just much younger Loki is a con-artist. FrostIron
1. Prologue

'_I first met Loki Odinson in a coffee shop the night after I turned 17, he was almost 16 and in the same year as me in school. I'd never noticed him before, afterwards I wondered how I had missed him, but he liked to go unnoticed back then, and Loki got what he wanted. It was late when I entered the coffee shop, and he was the only other customer so I ordered my cappuccino and sat next to him, he didn't seem to notice me, but he didn't notice anything when he was drawing. It was a good drawing, excellent even. I didn't mind, I was tired so I just pulled out my tablet and started to work on some designs. It was peaceful, neither of us spoke but after an hour or so of non-stop coffee, a strong cappuccino for me and varied lattes for him, he left. I guess that was the start of our relationship.' _

**Prologue **

Odin Allfather was descended from a long line of Scandinavian aristocrats, and everyone loved him, they practically worshiped the ground he stepped on. They loved him even more when he moved into politics, they had expected it. However after a few years of ruling the roost, he decided to take a few steps down and moved to America as the Swedish ambassador (he wasn't going to step down that much in the world) and (being a family man he was) his family moved with him.

They were a tight knit family that consisted of Odin (of course), his wife Frigga who was a thoughtful woman who believed family was everything, Thor the oldest son who was everyone's hero with his golden locks and big muscles that didn't seem to interfere with his brain and Loki the youngest who was well just strange. He was beautiful, in his own way with diamond cheekbones and piercing eyes, he had a long and far too slim to be healthy figure. He could dance like an angel and his artworks often rendered men speechless. He was beyond mere cleverness, and had a way with words that made his father seem like a drunk, and what did he get for all of this? Hate. And hurt, and misery. You see, Loki Odinsons brain didn't work like that of normal persons, he couldn't do math he couldn't comprehend science and physics was a blur of numbers and letters. He looked at the page, he read the question, he thought about it, he tried, but in the end all the numbers and letters ended up jumbling into one long blur, and his thoughts would instantly go back to dance steps and brush strokes. He wasn't dyslexic, his doctor had decided that back when he got his grade 4 report card back, his head just didn't work properly.

This would part of the factor in him meeting Tony Stark, just a few weeks after the coffee shop incident. Loki was failing Maths, bottom Maths (_'stupid Maths' _as many students would say). So his Maths teacher gave him a tutor, Anthony Stark, who was the schools pride and glory. He practically ran his father business at the age of 17 and was possibly smarter than the rest of the school put together excluding his friend Bruce Banner and of course Loki himself (only an idiot would say that Loki wasn't intelligent, he just couldn't do maths). Tony and Loki knew each other by this point, well Tony still didn't know Loki's name, but they both drank coffee together every afternoon where Loki would draw and Tony would work. They had even managed to have had 5 conversations by this point (not that either boy was counting or anything) and they _knew _each other.

Loki knew that Tony's father hit him, that his mother had died 3 months ago in a car accident and that he consumed more alcohol than he did coffee. Likewise Tony knew that Loki had tried to commit suicide 2 times, that his therapist of two weeks thought he was a lost case and that he owed two hundred dollars to Thanos, the local dealer. Loki knew that Tony had an ego the size of his mental capacity, and Tony knew that Loki was the personification of 'compulsive liar'. So yes by this point they _knew_ each other, even if Tony didn't know Loki's name and Loki only knew Tony's because he watched the news, which meant that Tony was completely surprised when he found out that Loki was his new 'student' because how could someone as smart as Loki be failing 'stupid' Math.

Over the next 2 months they Tony learnt Loki's name, that he was a dancer/artist and that trying to teach him maths was a lost cause, Loki in turn learnt what Stark Industries actually did, that Tony was a sex crazed monster with no real preference and that Tony was easy to manipulate into doing his homework for him. The month after that, by now Loki's math teacher had realized that these lessons were more social for both boys and had stopped them, Tony had learnt (after stumbling across all the pictures of handsome men in Loki's sketchbook) that Loki was gay, and Loki had learnt that Tony was a terrible dancer. Two weeks after that it was Loki's birthday, at which he came out to his parents. Tony now considered them friends (best friends on a good day) and so did Loki (not that he would ever admit it to anyone). One month after that they had shared their 7th kiss (not that either of them were counting or anything) and officially started dating. Over the next 8 months (during which they started their senior year) they became inseparable, Tony now drank more coffee than alcohol and didn't go out partying every other night and Loki no longer owed Thanos anything and his therapist said that things were looking up.

Everything has to end though and their story (well to be more accurate, the first part of their story) ended there, the night that Loki's parents admitted that he was adopted, truthfully? He had suspected this for a long time, but it still hurt. That night he cried into Tony's arms before leaving again at 2 am. When Tony awoke, six hours later, he woke up to a large cardboard box at the foot of his bed, jam-packed with sketch books (ones that Tony has to steal before he could look at) and he knew that Loki was gone. He had rushed over to the Odinson manor, only to find a crying Frigga, a teary eyed Thor and an Odin who appeared to be in shock. Everything was gone, his dancing gear, the art supplies, money, the emergency drug supply that Tony knew Loki kept so well hidden, everything except the photo next to Loki's bed, the one that Thor had somehow snapped during a winter kiss in the park. It took Tony days (a long time for Tony Stark) to figure out why Loki has left the picture, it was because Loki knew he was going to see Tony again. At least, that's what Tony told himself.

**Disclaimer; You just read my shitty prologue, do you really think I had anything to do with the Avengers?**


	2. Numb

_**(Cookies for the first person who finds the DW reference)**_

'_Forgo family, forgo friends_

_It's how it started, how it ends_

_I can open up and cry_

_Coz I've been silent all my life' _

_Marina and the Diamonds – Numb _

**Chapter 1 **

Tony Stark, in general didn't g_e_t on with other people, he just didn't like them. He had a few friends; Pepper who was in a way his mother and Bruce who had become his best friend after Loki had left. It didn't really make sense for someone with a playboy attitude like Tony's to be practically friend less, which lead to everyone assuming that he had hundreds of friends. That he was a handsome, charming, witty young man who liked sex and alcohol a little too much, but that was okay because he had a sensitive side that he kept well hidden. Wrong, Tony was handsome, he was witty but he fed off the embarrassment and insecurity he made people around him feel and his sensitive side? Well hidden? No, even an idiot could see he was broken, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

Anyway, Tony didn't get on well with others and that _always _surprised people, so when Director Fury called up for the first time (well he didn't call, he sort of just appeared in Tony's apartment) seemingly aware of Tony's attitude on life, it surprised him because people were always surprised. What surprised him even more? The fact that Fury knew _he _was Iron Man, and the one thing that surprised him the most? That Fury wanted him to join his special team of superheros.

"WHAT?!" Tony had shouted, dropping his glass of scotch onto his expensive Persian carpet. Tony Stark an Avenger? It was laughable.

"Here's your info pack, I'll be meeting you tomorrow," Then he was gone, and Tony was left there standing for at least 30 minutes, unable to think properly.

During his time in the Avengers Tony met new people, and he made friends; Steve who seemed to be fighting for Pepper's place as his 'mother' and ClintandNatasha (the couple were so close that in Tony's mind they were ClintandNatasha, two in one). He fought Dr Doom and his Doombots, helped save the world countless times and for the first time in three years (that was when Loki left) he felt _alive._ Maybe he was becoming just a little less broken. He was still haunted with nightmares of Afghanistan, he still slept with more people than he knew and he still dreamt of emerald eyes, a sad smile and a coffee shop that never closed, but he was getting better.

He moved into Avengers tower, though not before installing JARVIS. He signed out of Collage; there was no real point in him attending now that he ran his father's company earning millions of dollars every week and he didn't really have time anymore. He was happy, okay he was happier than before, he liked living with the Avengers, he liked the missions and then one day there was a mission that he really, _really _wished he hadn't accepted.

* * *

"This is my mission, to become a body guard for Coulson? Isn't Coulson a master spy, you know one of those ones who can turn an eraser into a deadly weapon?" Tony asked looking down at his report then back to Steve (Captain America), the leader of the Avengers.

"Phil doesn't think he can manage this one by himself, Tasha and Clint are still in Madrid and I'm busy for the next few weeks, if there is still a threat by then I'll take over."

"Okay, fine. So Phil thinks there is someone tracking him and he has no idea who it is? Does he have any idea, not even a tiny little niggling feeling at the back of his head?" Tony asked, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"Did you even read the report?" Steve asked, taking the younger man's coffee from him.

"I hadn't finished drinking that," Tony replied mildly, before pouring himself another cup. This was his average Sunday morning (it was actually it was well past lunch by then but for Tony the three hours after he woke up were morning), get given a mission, chat with whoever was in for a while and then go and talk to Pepper about the company for a while ( usually she would talk and he would complain loudly) after that he would leave for said mission before returning at 3am exhausted.

"I take that as a no," Steve said sighing, Tony was the smartest man he knew but was as immature as every other 22 year old on the planet, probably more so.

"Yup, hey does this mean I have to you know, sleep with him and stuff?" Tony asked, hoping the answer was negative; as far as he knew Phil Coulson was one of those people who woke up before the sun and actually slept at night.

"No he will be spending his nights here, which you would know if you had read the…" Steve started before he was cut off by the others phone. Tony groaned.

"That'll be Pep, sorry 'Cap it's my cue to leave, I'll go to Phil's place as soon as I can, but if I don't take this, there'll be two people here in need of bodyguards!" Tony said running from the room, grabbing the report on the way out. Steve just raised his eyebrows and looked away, that was usually the best way to deal with Tony.

* * *

Loki Liesmith looked up from his sketchbook and around the theater; it was beautiful, far more beautiful than anything else in this horrible city. _Just a few more days, _he told himself. That had been his mantra of the past month, this mission was proving as hard as Laufey had promised and it was making Loki mad, something that was dangerous for everyone. You see Loki was a con-artist/assassin working for his 'father' (Loki would never consider the man to be true father), Laufey, one of the greatest crime lords in Europe and Loki was one of his greatest agents, which meant that he got stuck with the hardest missions but all missions had their perks even ones that were annoyingly hard and meant he was living in his least-favorite city.

For this mission the perk was that his target was a musician, one that worked for one for Manhattans smaller, more select junior orchestras. Now this wouldn't usually matter, who cares if someone is a musician, but this orchestra happened to play for one of Manhattans smaller, more select junior ballet companies one that he, as of 3 weeks, was a member of (not a coincidence) something that usually wouldn't happen only a month away from a big show. Maybe there was something you could get out of having a crime-lord as a father.

"I didn't know you drew," a voice from behind drawled. Loki smiled slightly before turning around; he had heard her coming up behind him not matter how hard she tried she would never be able to sneak up on him, something she tried to do every single rehearsal.

"Hello Celia," he said, a smirk plastered firmly on his face. Celia was his New York 'buddy', which meant that she was his father's only agent who lived in this city. She was his age (19, insanely young for someone in their line of work), and worked as the harpist in the same small but select orchestra as his target (not a coincidence). She was about 5'6 and curvy and her hair was an explosive red bob with long bangs that contrasted strangely with her pale skin and yellow-green eyes. Celia wore vintage dresses and silk dinner jackets, most of which had belonged to one of her many brothers or father, patterned stockings and doc Martens, she didn't wear much make up, only her vibrant lipstick and eyeliner, and never wore and jewellery. She had long, red talons for nails (that somehow didn't affect her playing) and legitimately didn't give a fuck what people thought. She wasn't exactly pretty, but she was definitely striking, and just vibrantly alive.

"I still don't know how you do that," She replies sitting down next to him, pulling out at book from a black leather back pack, a vintage one with lot of buckles.

"I still don't know how you can fit anything in that tiny backpack of yours." Loki countered looking back down at his drawing; it was of the stage. "And I've been drawing for longer than I've been dancing."

"Yeah, but everyone draws as a little kid, so that doesn't count," Celia replied, looking down at the stage where their superiors were rushing backwards and forwards trying to sought everything out.

"Yes, and you would know, being the artistic person you are," Loki shot back stuffing his things back into his 'man bag'.

"I think you'll find that most people would agree that music is a form of art," Celia her eyes wandering to the ceiling. She had a slightly creepy, deep voice that matched her slightly creepy habit of not blinking for what seemed like minutes on end.

"Most people aren't artistic; therefore pretend everything is so they can appear artistic while not actually being so." Loki said.

"If I didn't know you as well as I did then I wouldn't know you were joking and would probably take offense to that," She laughed and then she sighed. "Laufey emailed me last night; he wants to know how you are doing." Celia was one of his father's hackers, and also was the one who tracked down people for Laufey. This meant that she was one of the only people that Laufey trusted with his email address; Loki too was included in this which made him wonder why Laufey hadn't contacted him directly.

"I think he's onto me, I'll have to lay low for a few days, or you know just get it over and done with." Loki said, turning towards his friend, whose eyes seemed to be glowing in the dark, smirking slightly as if everything was okay. She just narrowed her eyes.

"He has been doing it again hasn't. Why can't he just leave you be?!" She shouted throwing her book on the ground. Loki sighed and looked back down at the stage, there he was his target.

Phil Coulson: Age – 39, Occupation – SHIELD agent/ Strings instructor in the Manhattan Junior Orchestra. It was actually kind of funny

**Whoo, first real chapter complete! I am so happy! I didn't expect my story to get any love, but it received a few reviews and favourites and I got a beta, the lovely wobuzhidao, who is amazing. Check her out. **

**Disclaimer: if I had created the avengers, there would have been gay make out scenes… there aren't, so obviously I didn't make the avengers. **

**Love, Sparkly.**


	3. Dark Paradise

'_Every time I close my eyes_

_It's like a dark paradise_

_No one compares to you_

_I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side' _

_Lana Del Rey, Dark Paradise _

**Chapter 2 **

Loki didn't know why he loved dancing so much, it just came so naturally to him that it seemed more right than anything else, like it was of such an importance that not dancing was on par with not breathing. It wasn't like that with drawing, when he drew, it was a way of getting the things in his head onto paper expressing how he felt when dancing wouldn't do the trick. In the end, Loki couldn't really live without these things, sometimes he wouldn't sleep and hardly eat for days if he was too caught up in a project or come stumbling back to his apartment at dawn because he and spent the whole night in his studio. His old therapist (Laufey didn't allow him one nor did Loki want one) had often lectured him about doing stupid things like this but she had never been a very good therapist. Another thing about Loki was that he was in fact a dreamer, not in the overly optimistic way, he was anything but optimistic, no it was that he was lived his life in his head, a life made of paintings and nights spent in studios so much so that when he was pulled back down to earth, he couldn't cope, Loki needed someone there to help him guide him through life so he wouldn't break down (which was more likely to hurt other people than himself).

During his childhood it had been Thor, his big brother who would calm him down when he got angry, keep in the middle level of dreams and reality. During his adolescence it had been the drugs, which wasn't good, but at least they stopped (if only for a short time) his seeing the pathetic excuse that was humanity. Then there was Tony, who had showed him (in those first far too short months) amazing things, taught him all about the world and that sometimes humans weren't as bad as he thought not that Loki understood most of it but it still worked. Then there was nothing.

Loki often regrated leaving, he thought back to his old life and he missed, saw all the wrong he did but then again, it wasn't his fault. In the beginning Loki had refused to do anything his father had told him to, at first all he had wanted was to find Laufey (he hadn't known that the man was a criminal back then). To find out why he had been left in that park, left to die, it hadn't worked out like that. Laufey had seen his potential, the way words seemed to flow from his mouth, lies indistinguishable from the truth, and had offered Loki a job and the raven haired trickster had refused.

You never refused Laufey (sure, he would ask you but that was more mere politeness than anything else) even if you were his son. After that Laufey had looked a little taken aback, he wasn't used to people refusing him so he simply asked how Loki had found him. He had smirked that sly, Cheshire cat smirk of his, fingered the throwing knives in his pocket and had said;

"I persuaded some people _father_ it's really not that complicated."

"Then maybe I can persuade you _son." _

Merely five weeks later Loki had killed four men and hadn't felt any remorse. His father was almost as good at persuading people as he was.

First it was Thor that had stopped him from going mad, then the drugs, third Tony, then for a little while there had been nothing. Then there was killing, it helped a lot.

*insert cool line break*

"Hello there, Phil!" Celia shouted as he and Loki walked down from their spot in the stands to the main stage, where all the dancers were warming up and the musicians were tuning.

"Hello Celia, Loki," Phil said, turning around. He smiled at the two teens although the smile was strained, as if he knew something bad was going to happen. _How right he his_ Loki thought viciously. "Celia, shouldn't you be tuning? You do realize it takes you twice as long to tune as anyone else here?"

"Yes Phil, which is why I come here early every single rehearsal, under your instruction even," she replied slowly, with exaggerated facial features and hand actions.

"Oh, just go away and practice or there is something I need to talk to Loki about something anyway," the older man scolded, though there was a smile to his voice showing that he was joking.

"Yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir! And I'll be talking to _you_ later." The red head said turning away sharply and pointing at her friend, somehow not disturbing the twenties style hat perched on her head.

"Is there something between you two?" Phil asked once Celia was out of hearing range.

"Celia and I? No sir, we're just very close friends who have known each other for a while," Loki replied. At least that part was true. "Is there anything else?"

"Just call me Phil everyone does… I've noticed Loki that you seem to be a little stressed lately… I was wondering what it was? We can't have you slip up…" Loki looked down, forcing a blush to spread across his cheek. _Act innocent, act innocent! He's onto you, act innocent! _

"I'm sorry Phil, I've been having a few problems with my father lately…I'll try and make sure my dancing doesn't slip up…I'm very sorry" he replied, making his voice crack a little as if he was holding back tears, _Don't overdo it…Just act innocent! _

"Oh, that's okay Loki… just know that the other instructors and I are always here for you…well you better get back to your dancing then."

"Thanks…Phil" Loki whispered, turning away and heading back towards Celia his traditional smirk flashing across his face.

_Tomorrow, _he told himself,_ Tomorrow night after rehearsals, I'll do it. _

*insert another cool line break*

"Hey, Phil," Tony said into his StarkPhone as he walked into one of Manhattans many theatres, one that he had conveniently forgotten the name of already. He had just escaped Pepper's clutches and had headed straight to Phil. "I'm at the theatre but I have no idea which room you're in, so fill me in."

"Just go up to the receptionist and say that I sent you, she'll send you down to me, also you're a one of my students, you play Cello and you attend University here in New York," the SHEILD agent replied. The genius noted that Phil's sounded a little scared; although only someone he knew Phil very well would notice.

"Sure thing, that receptionist is one fine looking girl." Tony said looking back at said receptionist, who raised her eyebrows coolly in response.

"She's also 31 and happily married with four kids."

"Spoilsport, you do realise that a disuse isn't going to work I'm famous."

"Where glasses or something…and hurry up!"

After talking with the receptionist (who treated him like a pile of vomit on the street) he found Phil quickly enough, he was sitting in the seats of a large rehearsal room that was filled with dancers and musicians.

"Hi guys." Tony said, sitting down next to his friend, though his attention was completely taken by the things going on stage. The dancers seemed to be fighting over one man, who was dancing better than all the others put together.

"Hello Anthony, everyone, this is Anthony Edwards he's a student of mine," Phil said gesturing to his 'student'. The people sitting beside him (all old and grumpy looking) just nodded curtly before turning back towards the stage. How they didn't know he was Tony Stark instantly, the genius didn't know. Tony raised his eyebrows and closed his eyes and dozed off to the beautiful music.

During his nap the things on stage had changed. The man from before was dancing to a sad harp and oboe piece and he was amazing. He was also eerily familiar; in the way that his dance seemed elegant and cruel, sad and angry and not quite real. It was over all too soon, leaving Tony with an aching feeling in his chest.

"So, Phil what was that all about?" Tony asked as he and his friend walked out of the building 15 minutes later.

"Weren't you watching? Well obviously not, the dance is about a young man during World War 2 who is torn between joining the army along with all of his friends - and boyfriend - or complying with his family's wishes and staying at home to keep his mental health in check. He chooses to join the army, but quickly goes mad, killing his boyfriend. He is sent back home to an asylum from which he quickly escapes only to find his family are repulsed by him. In the end he is left alone with his madness."

"Well that's a depressing story; it's all sad, sad, really sad, and sad. In fact, that's sadder than Titanic. Also, we don't have to catch a cab; Happy is waiting at the end of the street." Tony said, pulling down Phil's arm as he tried to hail a taxi. Phil just made a scoffing noise and whispered something that sounded suspiciously like:

"Stupid rich people."

"Aren't the next few weeks going to be fun?"

**Once again, thanks to my beta. I still don't think this is my best work it seems all…bleh, but I have an ending planned out, so this story will prevail. PLEASE review and tell me what you think. PLEASE! Constructive criticism is great…as is love! **

**Love, Sparkly**


	4. Mad World

'_And I find it kind of funny; I find it kind of sad_

_The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had_

_I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take_

_When people run in circles it's a very, very_

_Mad world' _

_Gary Jules, Mad World _

**Chapter 3 **

Tony had always had nightmares, ever since he was a child. Many people experienced nightmares, but unlike most people Tony's were never the same. Sometimes they were about his father, the way his father had beaten him in drunken rages, occasionally they were about his mother and a lot of the time he dreamt of those weeks in Afghanistan and the brutal torture he had experienced there and then he dreamt of Loki.

He would dream of those months, although they weren't really dreams; they were more like nightmares. There were dreams of emerald eyes, raven hair and a coffee shop that never closed, but he would also dream dreams of tears, of fires that couldn't be put out and blood covered canvases. He dreamt of dance lessons in maths classrooms and whiskey sipped from tiny tea cups and then they would turn into dreams of empty dance studios and lonely walks in winter.

Maybe Tony had never gotten over Loki, and maybe this was his minds way of letting him know that, but maybe it wasn't because Loki was dead. Six months after he had left the police had announced his death and that had been that. Odin had resigned and he and Frigga started to travel the world together and Thor had run off to New Mexico with his high-school sweetheart Jane.

Tony had almost given up by then, his father was acting worse than ever and Tony was so drunk most of the time he couldn't even make it out of bed. Then he had been kidnapped in Afghanistan, which turned out to be more of a blessing than anything else. He had gone to the country with his father, to show their troops new weapons when they had been attacked. Apparently _they_ had been going for his father, but since his father had died in the explosion they had settled for the younger Stark. He had spent months in those caves, a car engine working as his heart and then he had escaped. He had become someone else, a saviour, an Avenger, Iron Man.

He flew around in his metal suit; went on missions for Captain America. When his best friend had turned into an enormous green rage monster he had even encouraged Bruce to join him, to help save the world. Tony Stark had become someone else, but he still had nightmares.

Nightmares of his parents, nights spent crying, months tapped in a cave, emerald eyes and a sad smile and a dancer that made his chest ache.

*I wish I could just _make _break lines…*

Tony and Phil arrived at Avengers Tower just before dinner started something both of them were highly grateful for; neither of them had eaten since breakfast.

"Hey guys, you both arrived just in time for dinner and Steve's cooking tonight." Bruce said as they entered the kitchen/dining room. He was Tony's oldest best friend and a tired, handsome man who turned into the Hulk when he got angry. He was smart, possibly the only person as smart as Tony, and had spent months working as a doctor.

"Great, I'm starved…I haven't eaten since breakfast." Tony said as he sat down.

"Tony, your breakfast was at lunch." Bruce replied as Steve started to serve the food.

"Details!"

"Tony, shut-up!" Steve said as he too sat down. They ate in silence not the uncomfortable kind of silence mid you; it was a nice pleasant sort.

"So, Phil we doing anything tonight? Do you have any hot dates that I'll need to supervise?"

"Yes though not of the hot date kind. I have a rehearsal with the lead dancer and some of the musicians tonight, from 9 till 11," Phil replied as he finished the last of his dinner.

"You mean you have even more rehearsals, shouldn't you be off spying on super villains or whatever it is you do? And I thought you were like, the leader of _one_ section of the orchestra, why are you helping the dancers out?"

"We have our first performance in a week so we need to rehearse a lot, and I happen to be the only director there who can both dance and sing."

"You can dance?!"

*you know those line breaks, insert one here"

When they arrived at the theatre it was dark and cold outside. Not Tony's favourite environment, however the theatre itself was warm and comfortable. Tony could almost see why Phil chose to work here. The only other person there was a red-headed girl standing next to a harp, she had a shock of red hair and wore one of those ruffled twenties dresses.

"Hi Phil, the others aren't here yet LoLo called up though, he wanted to speak with you," she said addressing Phil and ignoring Tony completely.

"Celia did you just call…fine, okay I can deal with that. Anyway, Celia this is my student Anthony, he plays Cello. Anthony this is Celia she just hangs around and annoys me." Phil said, taking out his phone, "I need to make a call, I'll be back in a second…you two get to know each other."

"Have fun!" the red-head, Celia, replied smiling a smile that sent shivers up his spine. He didn't like her decided too _creepy. _

Five minutes later a tiny girl with black hair came running into the room sobbing.

"Phil…Phil…Loki killed him! Phil's dead, Loki just came over and stabbed him…then he just walked away! Phil's dead!"

Loki.

*Christ on a bicycle I'm using a lot of line breaks*

"You'll have to do it soon you know, he suspects something's wrong," Celia said as she and Loki lay side by side on the floor of her flat. Loki was tired and aching and didn't want to move. Or think, so he just sighed in response.

"Look, Lo, it's not just Phil…Laufey's getting annoyed too,"

"I know I was planning to do it tonight. I have a plan, it'll work."

"_Tonight!_ Lo, these things take _weeks_ of planning, when I said soon I meant within a month or something!" Celia gasped sitting up sharply her eyes wide Loki rolled his eyes and stood.

"It will work, there's nothing to worry about," he said, pulling his friend to her feet.

"I know what he does in those labs you know, to you and the others," Celia whispered walking out and onto her balcony.

"How?"

"I'm a spy Loki, and a professional hacker, I know things. I know about your past, I know what they did to you; I know they're doing it again."

"Yes 'He has been doing it again hasn't he' if I recall correctly," he replied looking away, he didn't like talking about himself. "What about you?"

"Urgh. Boring well I'm Czech, but you probably knew that from my accent. I was a nerdy musician, I ran off and Laufey found me sent me here and he pays me well," she shrugged walking back inside, "You're far more interesting."

"I think we're both far more interesting than we deserve to be." Loki muttered following his friend into her cluttered kitchen. It wasn't really a kitchen though, more of a workshop containing three monitors, two laptops, a coffee machine, a toaster and a fridge.

"Touché," Celia said reaching into the fridge and pulling out a bottle of vodka, something Loki knew she was impartial with.

"We can't get drunk tonight; I unlike you don't actually want to remain sober for rehearsals."

"I unlike you can actually hold my liquor." She jabbed taking a swig straight from the bottle then tossing it to Loki.

"We'll see about that," he muttered licking his lips.

*WHAT?! Another break!*

"Hello, I was wondering if I could talk to you." Loki asked into the receiver, his head buzzing slightly. If it was from the alcohol or the nerves Loki didn't know.

"Is it about your father?" Phil replied stepping out of the room and into the hallway where Loki could see him perfectly.

"I think you know what this about."

"I hoped it wasn't you. They'll get you, you know." Phil replied oddly calm for someone in his situation, maybe it was the years of training kicking into action, or maybe he was just good at hiding his emotions.

"Maybe, feel free to run if you want. I won't stop you, though you won't go far. I'm very good."

"So I've heard, young Swedish assassin specially trained by one of the greatest crime lords of Europe and moulded into a weapon made especially for SHEILD agents, we didn't even have your name on file, you should feel proud. What about the security cameras?" Phil asked, his voice had started to shake a little now and he was sweating.

"Security cameras are no problem when your best friend is a hacker." Loki started to smirk; this was proving to be easier than he thought. He walked out of his hiding place and down the hallway.

"Celia. I thought she was better than this."

"I used to think that I was better than this turns out no one is. What about your body guard, the man from rehearsals?" Loki asked, fingering his knives. His footsteps were echoing down the hallway, Phil would be able to hear him now.

"Everyone has the ability to be good Loki; maybe you should take a lesson from my body guard?"

There was a few seconds of silence that was broken by the sound of a throwing knife. Then a scream, it was Lucinda a oboist in the orchestra. _Shit. _Loki smiled his crazy Cheshire cat smile and walked down the hallway. It was time to text Celia.

He had some running to do.

**Well this is possibly the most unorganized random pile of shiz I have ever written. I have this story all plotted out now, it is set out for 16-17 chapters. No sequel, though I do have other things in my head revolving around this universe. Also, you have may have noticed that each chapter as a little backstory from Tony or Loki before getting into the real plot. Don't know how that happened. Thanks again to me beta. She is amazballs. The chapters will get longer, I promise. **

**Disclaimer: I think I forgot to do one of these last chapter and I actually don't care. From now on, just know that I don't own the Avengers. **

**Love, Sparkly**


	5. Flawed Design

_'Cause I lie, not because I want to _

_But I seem to need to all the time _

_Yeah, I lie and I don't even know it _

_Maybe this is all a part of my flawed design' _

_Stabilo, Flawed Design _

**Chapter 4 **

Loki remembered his first kill in perfect detail. His name had been Stefan Nowak. He had been a Polish weapons engineer working for SHEILD. The trickster had later found out that Stefan had had two young daughters, Anya and Nadia. They were orphans now. Loki didn't regret it one bit. At least that was what he told himself, and maybe with all his skills of lying he had managed to lie to himself.

After he had become an assassin he sometimes wondered what Tony would have thought of his new lifestyle. He knew the answer to that. Tony would have been disgusted, he would have killed him on the spot because Tony was a superhero and Loki was a villain. He was a fiend, a monster.

No one on the outside knew what happened in the Jotenhiem labs, they were Laufeys pride and joy. They were his biggest secret, and Loki was his biggest success.

In those labs the performed experiments; in some they tried to replicate the Super Soldier serum, in some the scientists turned humans into freaks, giving them grotesque powers and then there were the Frost Giants. They were they most successful, a _gift_ given only to the best, like Loki.

It was a set of injections given twice of the agents' life with no set amount of time in between them. They gave the agent strange powers, almost like mutants. They received superhuman strength and speed the name giving power to control ice. They were monsters, freaks, abominations. The recipients of these injections also experienced side effects, skin that turned blue in the cold or if they got angry or to depressed, the eyes that turned blood red for the same reason, though this only happened if the recipient had had both injections. Loki had had both of his injections.

Sometimes he wondered what Tony would think of him now, and he knew the answer; Tony would think he was a beast, a horror, a nightmare. Then occasionally he would think that maybe Iron Man would think that, the superhero and maybe _Tony _would just be disappointed.

But that was only sometimes.

* * *

Loki and Celia ran the night he killed Phil, they used a combination of her hacking skills and his acting ones and in six hours they were on a plane to Prague, which according to Celia was the most beautiful city on the world. Apparently it was a fairy tale city for artists, musicians and dreamers apparently he would love it. She might have been right if it wasn't for the fact that he was completely and utterly _terrified, _he was scared of what was going to happen, scared of SHEILD and then he was mostly scared of Laufey. His father wasn't known for accepting failures he in fact was known to brutally torture them before killing them. Loki had failed and there was no way that Laufey _wouldn't _find them. He would search every corner of the northern hemisphere and quite a bit of the south. There was no way they would be safe, well if Loki had been by himself he might have been okay.

Except he wasn't by himself, he had Celia who was probably the worst fighter, actor and runner he knew. He knew that Laufey knew that Celia would come here; it was sentiment an emotion both Loki and his father agreed was possibly the worst trait of the human race, and the harpist suffered from it greatly. She was having fun though, they had bought an apartment (Loki had thought that it was a stupid idea and that they should keep on moving but she had been insistent) in the old part of town and she enjoyed spending the day walking around showing him her favourite parts of her home town. She enjoyed it so Loki put up with it because that's what you did when you cared about someone, right?

"So, I was wondering if your parents were evil, cause with you've got the weirdest name ever." Celia's voice said, jarring him out of his thoughts. He sighed, the amount of times he had gotten this question was and oddity itself.

"And I'm sure your parents named you 'Celia Marr' didn't they?" Loki retorted sitting up, they were in their apartment near the river (Loki had no idea how she had managed to grab an apartment in such a prime spot) lying around the main room, Loki sketching and Celia reading.

"Milena Kadlec is still better than Loki," she snapped back pulling his hair.

"Whatever you say Milena," the trickster replied, laughing. "Why didn't you tell me you were Czech? When we first met?"

"Because I didn't trust you," Celia replied smiling. When she smiled her whole face lit up, if Loki didn't know her better he would never have guessed she was a criminal.

"Why didn't you tell me after that?"

"Well…I spent years trying to run away from my life here I didn't want any reminders. I guess I gradually felt that really, running away from my life here wasn't going to change anything so I've decided that maybe the only way I can hope to fix anything is by coming back here. It helps, maybe you should try it."

"I think I'll pass" Loki replied smiling sadly. It was moments like these that he realised that he really didn't know anything about his best friend.

They spent the next few hours not talking to each other, the assassin painted his hacker friend while she played her harp. It was peaceful.

"Loki, do you have a plan?" she asked finally breaking the silence. Loki looked up at her, he could see the tears welling up in her eyes and he started to panic, crying girls were not exactly his forte.

"No…I don't…I'm sorry" he whispered engulfing her in a hug Loki couldn't remember the last time he hag hugged; he wasn't a hugging sort of person.

"I don't like this, this freedom." She whispered back and Loki frowned, he didn't know what she meant.

"Celia, there is no such as freedom, you should know that as well as me," the brunette stated firmly she should know that as well as him, they were both criminals working for the most imposing man on earth, forever watched.

"So what do you call this? Running from the authorities and being too scared to go out at night? Painting by day and drinking by night? What do you call that?" Celia asked. Loki didn't reply.

They spent the next few weeks playing music and dancing (Celia was much better than either of them expected). They would eat at old restaurants and listen to buskers; they were both too sacred and sad to do anything more adventurous. They would drink whiskey from teacups and talk about politics and maybe this reminded Loki too much of old times and he wouldn't say it was fun.

But Celia was right, this was freedom.

* * *

"Tony, calm down." Pepper snapped through his bedroom door, she had spent the last month trying to get the genius to do just that and he hadn't yet complied. He just threw his glass at the door. "Tony, please. It wasn't your fault, this man is a genius when it comes down to assassination, and you tried your best." She sounded like a mother reassuring a child after he had lost a competition. He hadn't, he had lost a friend. To the man he still dreamt about. He heard her sigh and walk away her high heels clacking menacingly on the concrete.

Tony sighed in return and poured himself another drink, from his collection of favourite alcohol he kept in his room. Pepper was wrong, it was his fault. He had let his _friend _be killed by a man he still considered to _love. _It didn't work. His mind kept going through 'what ifs' and alternate endings and one name. _Loki, Loki, Loki. _His Loki, his own latte loving, dancing, fucked up Loki.

He heard another knock at his door. It wasn't Pepper, she didn't knock. It wasn't Steve he had given up ages ago and it couldn't be Clint or Natasha, because they were still in Madrid. Bruce.

"Hey Bruce, how you doing?" Tony called his voice cracking more than he wanted it too. He heard his friend sigh, too many people were sighing for his liking. "You can come in." _Wait? Why am I letting him in? _

The door opened and Tony's best friend walked in, cleaning his glasses and carefully avoiding the puddle of alcohol next to the door. "I hear you've been shouting at Pepper a lot today. She's very nice, you should avoid doing that."

"Don't worry big guy, I won't yell at you." Tony said sitting down on the edge of his bed, Bruce rolled his eyes.

"It was Loki right? _The_ Loki I mean." Tony nodded. He should have known straight away he should have known as soon as he had seen the dancer. He had lasted a whole day protecting Phil. One day.

"Have you told the others?"

"Tony, that's your job. It's not your fault for what happened, any of it. Loki has always been a master of lies, he could have easily tricked Phil into thinking he was an English dancer with family troubles." Bruce said calmly, patting his friend on the knee.

"I have to tell them don't I?"

"I think you know the answer to that."

"Jarv, get Pepper for me.'" Tony commanded.

"Already done, sir"

* * *

"So, you're saying that this Loki, is not only a highly trained assassin and one of SHEILD targets, but you ex-boyfriend?" Steve asked when Tony finished.

"Pretty much, yeah," Tony replied, avoiding Peppers eyes.

"Well, thank you Tony. This information will be very useful. Is there anything else we should know? And do you have any idea where he would be?" Steve questioned.

"I have no idea where he would be, back when I dated him he wouldn't have hurt a fly, I think our best shot is going after the girl. Celia, the hacker, you said that SHEILd have had their eyes on her for a while now right? Well I think that the best way to find Loki would be to find her, I bet my suit that they are together. He would never admit it, but he's the sort of person who needs someone to be there for him." Tony said, trying to keep any fondness out of his voice. This man had killed Phil, he wasn't Loki anymore. He was someone else now.

"Thank you Tony, let me know if you need anything." Steve said, his tone of voice suggesting that he wanted to finish this conversation now, and effectively kick Tony out. The genius nodded and stood up, his eyes finally meeting those of his assistants. He instantly wished he hadn't, her expression was so full of pity it made him sick.

That night she asked him why he hadn't told her sooner.

"I don't know."

* * *

"What is it Clint?" Natasha asked, walking towards her lover who was sprawled across his hotel bed flicking through his emails.

"That little bitch, the hacker that helped this 'Loki' to kill Phil? Turns out she isn't a 21 year old, American, harpist named Celia Marr," Clint answered smiling a cruel smile Natasha hadn't seen in years. It both scared and excited her. "Turns out she is a 19 year old, Czech, hacker, working for Laufey named Milena Kadlec, strange name really."

"It take it we have a new mission?" she asked a smile on her lips.

"I hear Prague is very nice this time of year." The archer replied pulling his lover down for a kiss.

**Another chapter complete **** thanks again to my beta, and please review, I would really appreciate some feedback. Please. **

**Love, Sparkly**


	6. Obsessions

_We've got obsessions_

_I wanna erase every nasty thought that bugs me every day of every week._

_We've got obsessions_

_You never told me what it was that made you strong and what it was that made you weak _

_**Obsessions- Marina and the Diamonds**_

It was midnight when the figure emerged from the silky black of the night, a cigarette in his hand. He, for it was obviously a man, looked around cautiously and made a strange gesture with his hands, as if on cue (which it probably was) it another figure stepped forward, this time it was a female. The greeted each other formally, although from their body gestures it was clear them they knew each other very well.

The night smelt like cigarette smoke and it was eerily clam, the blackness of it almost overwhelming but for the occasional streetlight and the embers of the man's cigarette. They remained silent for a few minutes before the woman spoke up;

"Kazimir said he spotted Loki near the Cathedral, apparently he's not under Laufey's protection anymore," She said, he Czech accent was thick and she stumbled over many of her words. She was not a native English speaker.

"Is there anyone with him?" The man replied, he had a faint accent himself.

"A girl, Czech, she was working for Laufey too, but they've been on the run for a few weeks now."

"Why?" The man asked his voice both harsh and demanding.

"They stuffed up a job, one involving SHEILD, they were spotted," the woman answered scoffing. She thought that failing at any job was to be looked down upon, or maybe she just thought that SHEILD itself was something to be looked down upon. "This one's going to be good, I mean , half of the guys have been wanting to get Loki for years, and here we are. Getting Loki."

"I take it then, that we have permission to kill?"

The woman stepped further into the street light, the harshness of it highlighting the scar running from the corner of her left eye to her lip.

She smirked, "If we didn't, do you think I would be here?"

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"Tell me Stark, who exactly is this person?" Fury asked, his one eye glinting.

"Loki Odinson, he's 19 years old…and I used to date him, that's it really. He's a dancer and an artist…and he's great at those things, he's very smart he sucked at maths though…I guess that's it," Tony answered, sighing. He'd answered questions like these to both, Pepper and Steve already and he didn't feel like answering any more.

"All I need to know is where he would be, who he would be with and how to catch him. I don't give a fuck if you two are married; I need to know how to kill him." Fury snapped.

Tony looked up, frowning. "I've said this before, don't kill him, if we can rehabilitate him, he'll be a great asset to the team. The Loki I knew wouldn't have killed anyone; this _Lauefy_ must have done something to him!" Iron man yelled, his voice shaking. They were talking about killing the man he loved, the man he had spent years dreaming of.

"He killed one of my best men, had left a string of assassinations running all through Europe and the U.S, I don't see how someone like that can be rehabilitated!"

"Please, think, they must have done something there. Loki wouldn't have done something like…this otherwise! Sure he's insane, but not enough to kill people…he wouldn't even have gone after Laufey if it wasn't for…" Tony trailed off, his eyes far off in thought.

"What is it Stark, this is a need to know situation?" Fury asked.

"His father Odin, you need to get in contact with him, he'll know what's going on."

"That was the first thing I tried, he won't come in. He wants to believe that his son is still dead, I would to in these circumstances." Fury said lowering his voice; he was starting to see how desperate Tony appeared to be.

"His brother then, Thor." Iron man supplied

"Odin would tell us where he was, we decided not to push. If his father wouldn't help, we figured his brother wouldn't."

"Thor would, he loves his bother more than anything, and he's in New Mexico, working with an astrophysicist named Jane Foster, I think I have his number somewhere. I can get him for you."

"He's a deal for you Stark, If you can get Thor in by the end of the week, and he can explain everything that is going on, we'll give this Loki a chance. If not, I'll give Agent Barton and Agent Romaoff the order." SHEILDs Director ordered.

"Sure thing Nicky, I'll have him in by Thorsday. Get it, you know Thursday, Thorsday?" Tony said perking up visibly.

The director just rolled his eyes and walked up.

Three days later Thor had arrived with his fiancé, her assistant and mentor, no questions asked. Now the only person they were waiting on was Loki.

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Loki knew he was being followed, he could feel it with his entire being. He had dismissed it before, shrugging it of as anxiousness, but now it was weeks later and he could still feel it. Celia said he was over reacting, and maybe he was. Maybe he wasn't.

It was only a few days after this when he, and his friend, were attacked. They had been walking by the river, quite a bit later than they usually would have been when the men appeared.

There were three of them and Loki knew them instantly, well he didn't know their names but he knew who they _were. _They were three of the 'thugs' working for a Czech gang leader, who in turn worked for Laufey. And they were after him. Well they were probably after Celia too, but at that moment he couldn't find it in him to care about anyone else but himself. Maybe that was bad, but maybe it wasn't.

"He Lo, know who these guys are?" Celia whispered her voice slightly on edge. Even if she didn't know who they were, she still must have had a bad feeling about them.

"You ever heard of Kazimir Slavik?" Loki asked. The brunette smirked when he heard his friend draw in breath sharply.

"I know a bit, yeah," she replied.

That was when the first of the approaching figures fell, an arrow firmly stuck in his back, the other two going down almost immediately afterwards after a blur of red and black brought them down. Their two saviours then turned to face them, one was a short, dangerously beautiful woman, and if looks could kill, she would have murdered them. The other was a man of average height, a bow at his side.

Once again Loki knew who they were almost instantaneously, Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff.

And they were here to kill him.

**Yeah, this took a while. Sorry for not updating...ever. Also I know this isn't my best chapter, I wrote it about 2 months ago...I found it..yeah, I know it's awful. **

**Love Sparkly**


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